‘I felt immense shame’: one man’s experience of a female stalker

Tom, whose experience echoes that portrayed in Baby Reindeer, talks about the impact on him and the police response

Not long after he embarked on an on/off dalliance with a former colleague, Tom began feeling uneasy about her behaviour. He ended things – but that only made matters worse.

Lies and gaslighting turned into his ex turning up randomly at places where he hung out and “appearing seemingly everywhere I went”, he said. “That was incredibly hard to deal with. I felt hounded, and I had no idea what to do.”

In the UK, the National Stalking Helpline can be reached on 0808 802 0300.

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