Wedding season is around the corner, and wedding etiquette discourse is heating up on social media. Gen Z is already bucking traditions like large wedding parties, printed invitations, and more, but talk of dry weddings—and even cash bars—is stirring up more online drama than a vodka martini.
“So the younger generation on TikTok is vehemently defending cash bars at wedding receptions,” wrote X user @hotdamhistorian in the caption of the post, “and suggesting people who look forward to two drinks at a wedding are perhaps alcoholics.”
The post, from April 21, 2025, has over 1.3M views, 11K likes, 749 saves, 675 reshares, and 214 comments.
“I assumed making guests PAY for refreshment at a wedding reception was tacky, when you're already making them pay for travel, lodging, and outfit, etc.,” they continued in a threaded comment. “A reception was about HOSTING a party, but i guess that's not true.”
@hotdamhistorian did believe that “dry weddings are fine,” and that “People across the world have been having banger dry weddings for centuries” but that they drew the line at justifying a cash bar.
“I just want to know what I’m walking into in advance,” wrote X user @iamwesley in the comments. “If it’s a cash bar or a dry wedding, put that somewhere on your wedding website.” @hotdamhistorian agreed, comparing it to how vegetarians would similarly want to know ahead of time that their dietary needs would be taken care of as well.
X user @lizzylemondrop added that “Complaining that you didn’t get free booze after receiving a formal meal and party where you are a GUEST with live music and entertainment is what’s tacky, actually.”
The discourse is so heated it may even be preventing wedding guests from taking part in the festivities.
“One of my Gen Z friends wasn’t drinking much at my wedding bc he thought that we had to pay for each individual drink,” wrote X user @TheFbrz in the comments. “He got so excited when i told him i already wrote the open bar check so he might as well go wild.”
Wedding etiquette is always a hot topic, and the alcohol situation varies greatly depending on your culture, your values, your habits, and even what part of the world you live in.
Newsweek recently reported that Gen Zers are more “pro-marriage” than older generations, and that more conservative values are changing the way younger generations feel about tying the knot in general.
This generation is also drinking less and seeks out more sober-minded activities, so it’s no wonder that discourse related to dry weddings and cash bar weddings is surfacing on social media.
On April 16, 2025, TikTok user @alannavizzoni got roasted after sharing a video where she stated that having a dry wedding was “unacceptable,” even if you don’t drink alcohol yourself.
“People are forgetting that a wedding is an event that you're hosting,” she stated in the video, which has over 184.9K views, 8,707 likes, and 4,129 comments. “It doesn't matter what you want, it's about hosting.”
“You have to have certain things for your guests,” she continued. “Alcohol and food and music should be, like, the most important things.” She suggested that if alcohol was too big of an expense, to cut down on the guest list instead.
@alannavizzoni added that she doesn’t “drink a lot anymore” but that calling someone an alcoholic for providing refreshments for their guests didn’t make sense.
However, Gen Zers shot back in the comments.
“Insists she’s not an alcoholic while talking about how alcohol is fundamental to parties and comparing it to primary needs such as food lol okay,” wrote TikTok user @itspukapukart in the comments.
“It’s weird if you can’t have fun at a wedding without alcohol,” added TikTok user @lemonbar420.
“As someone who doesn't drink, watching the open bar vs. no open bar debate happening on wedding TikTok rn is fascinating,” wrote TikTok user @hannahpate547 as the text overlay on her video. “Wdym you're not going to a wedding simply because they're not providing alcohol?”
“One person said if you have a gift registry you should have an open bar because if they're giving you gifts you have to provide them with drinks,” they added, referring to another controversial wedding discourse TikTok video. “That is not how gift giving works??”
TikTok user @walmartconanobrien also made the point that, despite what the couple plans to do about alcohol, if your decision to attend or not attend is only based on that, it says more about your relationship to them than anything else.
“This dry wedding discourse is actually so dumb,” he stated in a video he posted on April 17, 2025. “If somebody invites you to their wedding and they say, oh, it's a dry wedding, and you decide, oh, I'm not gonna go because there's no alcohol, don't pretend like you actually care about that person.”
@thejessiebeyer #weddingtok #drywedding #cashbar #conservatism #fyp #foryoupage ♬ original sound - jessie B 💜🇵🇸
TikTok user @thejessiebeyer, who often comments on political discourse, linked the alcohol tariffs President Donald Trump sought to impose to the Republican party’s desire for more conservative values—values which many Gen Zers wish to uphold also.
That video, posted on Feb. 14, 2025, quickly tied into the dry wedding discourse on TikTok. In a new video she posted on April 22, 2025, the social media user explained that “the way that people talk about alcohol…about partying and going out and having fun, specifically younger people…it's very much an all or nothing mindset they have.”
“You can't have one drink or you're an alcoholic,” she continued. “You can't go out and party or you're a degenerate, and that is being directly reflected in this wedding talk….Going to a wedding and wanting to have a few glasses of wine, wanting to get a little drunk does not make you an alcoholic.”
In a follow-up video posted on April 23, 2025, @thejessiebeyer added that “the conservative part is the attitude towards people who are not drinking” and that “judgment and shame are core tenets of conservatism.”
Others, like TikTok user @thesashawhitney, think the discourse may be linked to something deeper: a recession indicator.
“The vast majority of people engaging in that behavior are Gen Z,” she admitted, saying that this demographic is most vocal about “defending dry weddings, calling people alcoholics, disrespecting people, and insulting people who would leave a dry reception early.”
However, she adds that “alcohol is expensive” and that “In this economy, a lot of people are not able to afford a $15,000 wedding,” which is the price she almost paid for her own. While she defended the right to host a dry wedding, she added that “you should not be surprised when your guests respond in kind.”
“They've attended your ceremony, they've attended your reception, and if you do not have alcohol at that reception, they may leave early.”
One solution? A bait and switch wedding—at least that’s what TikToker @frankmaciias suggests.
“The dry weddings versus open bar weddings discourse has given me the most diabolical idea ever,” he stated in a video he posted on April 19, 2025. He explained that he’d send out invitations indicating the wedding would be sans alcohol, to see who would really come if that offer wasn’t on the table, but that once the guests arrived, “it's gonna be an open bar.”
“I'm gonna reward all of the people who weren't just boring,” he proudly explains, “Because you know what? You were a real one. You said, I don't need alcohol to have a good time.”
The Daily Dot reached out to @thejessiebeyer via email, @alannavizzoni via email, and @TheSashaWhitney via Instagram DM, for comment.
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