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Main Character of the Week: The women who shared the best—and most toxic—ways to deal with an unfaithful ex

Here’s the Trending team’s main character of the week.

Former First Lady Michelle Obama said it best at the 2016 Democratic National Convention: “When they go low, we go high.”

In theory, sure—that sounds noble and mature. But let’s be real: Sometimes, the urge to be petty (or full-blown unhinged) is just too strong. Especially when you’re dealing with a lying, cheating partner.

Case in point: a recent video from singer-songwriter Avery Anna (@avery.anna.music), who asked her followers, “What’s the craziest FBI girlfriend thing you’ve done? Not talking about checking his location. I mean bat shiz crazy.”

The responses? Absolutely unhinged—in the best way.

I won’t pretend I’ve always taken the high road either. Reading those stories reminded me of my early 20s, when the idea of letting someone “get away with it” felt criminal. No, I’m not posting my own tales of vengeance online, but I fully support those who do—because wow, they deliver.

So grab your popcorn, get cozy, and take notes if you’re mid-breakup. Revenge may not be noble, but it sure is entertaining.

What’s the craziest thing these exes admitted to?

Of course, not every answer was laugh-out-loud funny—some were just quietly heartbreaking.

One woman said the “craziest” thing she did as an FBI girlfriend was… stay.

But others took the assignment and ran with it. One said she “got hired at the same club he cheats on me at.” Another stealth-installed Life360 on her partner’s phone, turned off the notifications, and swapped the app icon to the weather app. Spy-level stuff.

Some even recruited outside help.

“He was in Texas and I had a gut feeling he was cheating,” one woman wrote. “I checked Snap Map, saw a girl at the same hotel, asked her to knock on his door. She FaceTimed me—yep, he had a girl in there.”

But the crowd favorites? Psychological warfare. The kind that lives rent-free in a cheater’s head. One woman found out who her ex was sleeping with and got creative. “Started an innocent game of Hangman,” she said. “Made him guess her name.” Iconic behavior.

Should you seek revenge on a cheating ex?

The internet is full of stories about scorned exes getting revenge on someone who cheated—but that doesn’t mean it’s a good or healthy thing to do.

Experts told Vox that the emotional payoff from revenge is short-lived. In fact, it can leave you feeling worse. Social emotions like embarrassment, guilt, or shame often follow “transgressive behaviors” like seeking vengeance.

“There does seem to be this emotional cycle of revenge: momentary reward, quick decay, and then this little bit of the hangover that may then motivate people to go back into the cycle, and maybe reinforce it,” said David Chester, a psychology professor at Virginia Commonwealth University. “Next thing you know, you’re someone who’s doing vengeful things quite often.”

If you’re dead set on teaching someone a lesson, experts suggest going with “constructive revenge”—which is subjective, but essentially means keeping it petty without being destructive (e.g., if a friend didn’t invite you to their party, maybe you don’t invite them to yours. Just don’t post a vague subtweet and call it healing.) That kind of passive-aggressive behavior, experts warn, isn’t productive and could do lasting damage to a relationship, especially a friendship.

Ideally, you talk things out before reaching for revenge. But if you feel like you have to respond, take a beat. Think through every possible outcome, including how the person you’re targeting might respond. Sure, you might get a funny story out of it. But it might not be worth the toll it takes on your mental health.

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