“When is HER me time?”: Dad juggling 6-day workweek and young kids asks if he’s entitled to “me time”

Left: pregnant woman lying in hospital bed while young adult man sitting beside her touches her belly. Right: Text reading "once I'm home I've got nothing in the tank which leads to having very little patience and really only being present in body only."

On the r/AITAH subreddit, one overwhelmed father shared his struggles with balancing work, parenting, and rest. Redditor u/Ok-Tangelo8703 described his hectic schedule and posed a simple question: "AITAH for wanting more me time?"

He explained, "Dad of 3 here (9,6,2), my wife has been a stay-at-home mum since we had our 2nd child (which I am very thankful for)." Because of that choice, he said, he worked six days a week to keep finances stable. He admitted he felt grateful for her staying home, but also added that he was "increasingly burnt out." His words painted a clear picture of exhaustion.

"Currently my 'me time' is on the commute to and from work, a run once a week and then some time spent doom scrolling/gaming asleep on the couch watching TV once the kids are finally asleep," he wrote.

Reddit debated whose "me time" mattered more

Although many users empathized, the community split on who carried the heavier burden. Some readers pointed out that his wife also deserved downtime. One Redditor directly asked, "When is her me time???" Another quickly replied, "Apparently, every evening."

A longer comment highlighted the issue of fairness: "If dad is expected to take care of the kids from when he gets home until the kids are put to bed, it's not very fair. But neither is it fair for the dad to expect that he's not gonna spend time with the kids and help with the bedtime ritual."

Reddit comment that reads, "Actually sounds like she does take a break most days when he gets home. They both need a break - these ages are hard on everyone."
u/camkats via Reddit

Several people emphasized the need for compromise. One Redditor recalled a radio interview with a marriage counselor. The expert’s solution was simple: let the working parent decompress for 10–15 minutes after work, then step fully into parenting. According to the commenter, that short pause created balance instead of resentment.

Users clashed over assumptions about the mom’s day

The debate deepened when some commenters speculated about the mother’s schedule. A few suggested that since the older children were school-aged and most likely not homeschooled, she might have lighter responsibilities during the day. As one person wrote, "She gets a significant break every time the nine-year-old and six-year-old go to school. She's left with just a two-year-old at home."

Yet others defended her workload, stressing the relentless nature of childcare. One pointed out that stay-at-home parents work around the clock: "You work 8–12 per day. She is on 24/7/365. Consider it." Another urged the couple to create a plan, writing, "I suggest you BOTH sit down and build in personal time for BOTH of you each week."

Reddit comment that reads, "You sure made up a lot of assumptions in that response. If she's 'tagging him in' as soon as he gets home from work each day, that's her me time. Sounds like she gets plenty, especially if your assumption is that neither should get any."
u/cant_see_nothing via Reddit

While some felt the father’s request was reasonable, others stressed that both partners were overworked in different ways. The consensus was clear on one point: open communication and mutual compromise were essential for balance.

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