Can’t stop thinking about your partner’s ex? You’re not alone

Exes can trigger insecurities and fears, experts say, and social media can make it worse

I’d like to think it’s no longer standard to impulsively demonize a partner’s ex. But even the super secure are not immune to a bit of what experts call retroactive jealousy. In pop culture, it’s still a common theme: in Obsessed, Olivia Rodrigo fixates on a boyfriend’s ex. Most of Gracie Abrams’s Secret of Us, Sabrina Carpenter’s Taste and Banks & Doechii’s I hate your ex-girlfriend also betray similar compulsive thoughts about a partner’s former lover.

Yet as common as the feeling is, fixating on a partner’s ex(es) remains taboo for many reasons – least of all the social imperative that healthy people are meant to be above all that.

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